The 3 Stages towards a Liberated Mind — Ignorance, Denial & Acceptance.
Life is full of ambiguity and suffering to many people. Even in the modern era, most of us are still incapable of understanding the ‘true’ freedom/ liberation as described by the Greek Stoic philosopher, Epictetus. Consequently, many live in daily stress and terror, and in critical situations, some are infested with mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression.
Epictetus : “No man is free who is not a master of himself.”
In a part of the Buddhist teachings, the spiritual development of oneself towards the ultimate liberation of mind is described in three stages; Ignorance, denial, and acceptance.
This happens to be quite similar to what is studied in the teachings of Stoicism, a Greek philosophy, where its fundamental principle teaches one to focus only on the present moment /ultimate reality, which the key to achieving it nonetheless requires one’s acceptance and gratitude towards uncontrollable life events (be it positive or negative).
In the Chinese culture, there’s a saying:
“原： 看山是山，看水是水；
Seeing the mountains and waters as themselves ;
原：看山不是山，看水不是水；
Seeing the mountains and waters with personal judgments ;原：看山仍然是山，看水仍然是水。
Seeing the mountains and waters as to how they actually are.”
The above saying is closely related to the 3 stages: Ignorance, Denial, and Acceptance. I personally came into liking this description as it’s simple yet precise in describing these three different stages. Nonetheless, one is associated with having a Liberated Mind when he brings himself into the final stage.
First stage: Ignorance
— “ Seeing the mountains and waters as themselves.”
Every single living creature is born into this world without knowledge nor experience. We came in empty-handed; we knew nothing, while our senses and survival instincts are the only reliable friends. We trust the adults, we listen to them because it is assumed that they know more than we ourselves do. Being ignorant, we don’t have enough information to assess anything that’s presented in our sight, therefore we see things and accept them without doubting or questioning, despite they could be unfavourable.
Second stage: Denial
— “Seeing the mountains and waters with personal judgements”
However, this world that all of us happen to be living in is filled with brutal truths, obscurities, unfriendly circumstances and unfulfilled wishes. Such helpless and unfavourable events create various thoughts within the mind, and the hormones reinforce the sense of our emotions, bringing us various feelings and sensations — happiness, sadness, anger, disgust, fear and surprise. Consequently, the negative ones fill the mind with unnecessary anxiety, stress and worries, putting the mind in painful agony.
Now as we grow, we accumulate knowledge and experiences, we turn into someone capable of making judgments and choosing what’s favourable for ourselves. Here we start to grasp the idea of justice, we start to question what is right and what is wrong, we question things that go around us, we question why certain events happen.
In the Denial stage, we try to oppose the things and events that we do not fancy; we secretly hope that we possess the ability to undo our unpleasant past, and we always stress ourselves to foresee the future and then seize control of it. Even in some cases, when an unfavourable event happens in the present, we choose to befriend denial instead of welcoming it. At this point, we often blame our parents, our peers, the environment, the weather, and sometimes even our very own existence…
______“If only my grades were better…” ______“If only I’m richer!” ______“ Why does it happen to me?” ______ “ If only I can live forever!” ______ “If only I bought the stock!” ______ “ This is all your fault!” ______
Bear in mind, such statements and questions can be a powerful weapon if revised cautiously and positively — They can be motivational and act as the mirror of improvement that reflects our mistakes and weaknesses. However, we often fall for the deceiving sweetness of ‘IFs’ and ‘WHYs’. Here, we lose the idea of seeing things as it is, such traps will only draw us into the abyss of endless pain and suffering. Instead, we must stay focused on reality; we must understand that the past might be sorrowful but it’s not amendable, and the future is perplexing but it’s not within our grasp.
Third stage: Acceptance
— “Seeing the mountains and waters as to how they actually are. ”
When one figures out that denials are fruitless and detrimental, he welcomes himself to the final stage — Acceptance.
Finally, if we are lucky enough, we will come across the final stage of mental liberation. Unfortunately, we can observe that many people around us remained in the second stage, and perhaps they will never discover the final stage throughout their lives.
“John is born handicapped, he used to be low in self-esteem and placed all the blame in everyone but himself; he was always living in pain. One day, he realized that what he had been suffering with were merely the unfavorable truths that he didn’t fancy, thus he accepted them. By changing the way he perceives his uncontrollable misfortunes, he is a happy man with a happy life.”
In the third stage — Acceptance, we come into deduction that denying the ultimate truth of life and seizing it brings only suffers and it is essentially futile. Through countless learnings and practices, we arrive steadily at this stage. Here, we realize that we don’t seem to be able to control these randomly occurring events as they happen as they are, despite our imbecilic effort in trying to foresee the mysterious future and deleting the undelightful past. Thus, instead of denying, we start to accept these events as themselves. We start to perceive things maturely; we no longer deny, but accept the undelights, then we act upon them accordingly with our wisdom. In fact, sometimes even certain things in the present moment can be beyond our capabilities. As such, we must assess the events carefully — whether if it’s within our power of control, and if it’s worthy of our effort. Upon realising these, we are led to the liberation of sufferings, or simply put, the liberation of mind.
Still, we must bear in mind that nothing truly lasts forever and that there is an end to everything. Despite one’s realization of the Acceptance state, if insufficient effort is paid, one will nonetheless setback to the former state. Thus, we must put in the right efforts to maintain our hard-earned wit: such can be attained by constant learning, mindfulness meditation/ self-reflection, practising and thinking.
So which state am I in?
To attain a liberated mind, we must first figure out which stage we are currently in. We may ask ourselves these questions: “Am I being overly carefree?”__ “Am I constantly having negative emotions and attitudes towards things around me?” __ “Do I constantly assess things and problems with a logical mind, and rationally act upon them?”.
If one is overly carefree and slothful, he is ignorant.
If one habitually possesses negative emotions and attitude towards things, always thinking of “IF”s, he’s in constant denial.
If one is usually mindful about his emotions and wandering thoughts, unfailingly able to perform logical and rational judgements, adept to accept and see things as it is, and consistently having a peaceful mind, he must have undoubtedly attained a liberated mind.
Common Misconceptions
What if I turn lazy and lose my will to try?
It is an erroneous perception that being mindful of what’s within our capabilities will result in someone losing the will of achieving his goals. Furthermore, it is commonly mistaken that being mindful causes one’s slothfulness since everything can be deemed ‘not within my control’. In critical cases, it is thought that one might even become over-tolerant, losing his ability to think critically and right judgement towards everything.
The Noble Eightfold Path in the Pāli Canon mentions that the right effort and right intention are necessary when it comes to accomplishing goals. Bear in mind, one of whom is in the Denial stage habitually hold attachments towards the outcome throughout the process. And when the outcome is unfavourable, he feels extremely uneasy and quickly lured into the trap of “IF”s.
It is of utmost importance to note that when we are setting our goals, we shall not hold expectations (attachments) of the outcome (future), as it is technically not within our grasp. Instead, one should work through the process (present) to the fullest extent as it’s the only thing within our control.
Thus, be it achieving goals or completing tasks, we shall set our aim and we must put in effort conscientiously, but whatever the outcome is, be it favourable or not, we must gladly accept it as it is. It is important to be reminded that having a goal and being attached to the goal is essentially inequivalent.
Below is a quintessential example:
“Marie wants to study abroad. She did massive research, past all the interviews, and prepared all the essentials. Unfortunately, her mother fell critically-ill, she must stay and take care of her mother as she’s her only family member.
Despite Marie’s misfortune, she calmly accepts the outcome, because she knows she did her best and she has no control of it. Nonetheless, she still holds a positive attitude and grabs any opportunities that she may come upon, while always bearing in mind that she shall try her best but never hold attachments for the outcome.”
I will end this topic with a quote by Seneca :
“You have power over your mind not outside events, realise this and you will find strength.”
